Hetalian Bombshell
by blackstar62
Summary: Sealand comes into a World Conference and sees America and Germany fighting for power, Britain a pirate, Canada a delinquent, and some things worse than that. He realizes it was the result of a bomb he created, and him and Hong Kong will have to fix it before it's too late. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Bombshell

**It's been a while, guys. I've been working on a novel for the last couple of months. I'm done with it now, so that's good. I might post it FictionPress. But anyway, This story is about the countries acting kind of wacky and hostile. It's kind of like an over exaggeration of their negative traits. This kind of stems from Fairy Tail a bit from the filler arc when the celestial spirits wanted freedom. This is also the first time I'm putting Sealand in one of my stories because I really don't like him.**

Sealand was excited to try out his new mass bomb. "This will surely get the bigger countries' attention. When they see how strong I am, they'll have to accept me now." He started to run around the entire country, filled with glee.

One of the subjects stopped him. "Do you want us to launch it?" He asked, rather annoyed. Sealand nodded vigorously. "Yes! Totally!" The bomb was launched and landed in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It sent a shockwave across the world.

At the World Conference, Sealand knew what he would say. Hopefully Mr. Germany wouldn't yell at him for it. _"Hey, guys. Did you hear about that bomb? That was mine and only a country couldbuildathinglikethatsothatmakesmeacountry, right?"_

But when he got there he was surprised to see America and Germany fighting. "What do you think you're doing, man? I run things around here!" Germany gave him a shove. "You don't know how run a meeting properly. Democracy gives your subjects too much power! I need to be the only one speaking!" America shoved him back. "Well, I am the world's largest power. No one knows what they're doing. I'm the biggest and baddest so everyone belongs to me."

Sealand knew that there have been power struggles between the natural born leaders. But they never questioned each other's ideologies. And since when did Germany believe in dictatorship? And America never thought he owned the world. Sealand ran up to them.

"Hey, guys! Guess what?" The two countries glared down at him. Sealand may had tinkled in his trousers. America smiled widely at him. Not his normal friendly smile but a predatory smile. "Hey, little guy. What's kid like you doing all by yourself? Why don't become a part of the good old USA?" Sealand didn't know how to respond.

"YOU DARE INTERRUPT US IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT!?" Germany roared. Sealand squealed. "I'm so sorry, sir!"

"What are you two arguing about?" Sealand glanced behind him. It was Britain! In a pirate suit? "Mr. Britain! You saved me! Everyone's acting weird." Britain drew his sword and grinned. "Everything you've got. Drop it." Sealand stared at him in shock. "You're robbing me!?"

"Wassup, Bitches?" Sealand's jaw dropped. Canada was wearing a leather jacket and some ripped jeans. He was holding two hand guns, one in each hand. He looked like a gangster.

Britain gritted his teeth. "Well, if it isn't my greatest rival." Rival? "Wait? Canada? Canada is your rival? I thought France was." Britain laughed. "That frog never stood a chance against me. He could barely light the candle, let alone hold it up to me. He barely put up a fight."

Sealand swallowed. "What do you mean?" Britain looked down at him with a serious expression. "I killed him." Sealand gasped. "Now drop belongings before you're next, would ya?"

Canada pushed him aside. "The little brat's mine, you hear." Sealand noticed something wrong. "Um…sir? Where's Mr. Kumajiro?" Canada had a disgusted expression on his face. "I got sick of him forgetting my name," _Well, you always forgotten his name, _"so put him in my torture chamber. Ms. Hungary is handling him just fine."

What the heck is wrong with these people? They were all acting wacko! Suddenly, Hong Kong came in.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Yes, something's up indeed," Hong Kong commented as he slipped past Canada. Sealand ran up to him, then hesitated. "Hey, you're not acting different, are you?" Hong Kong looked at him curiously. "I don't think we have met. No, I'm normal, at least I think so. But I can't say the same for my Chinese counterpart." Sealand gasped. "Oh no! China?" Hong Kong nodded. "It all started this morning…"

_Hong Kong was drawing some copyrighted pictures. China walked up behind him. "Hey, there you are!" He pulled out a porcelain doll. It was girl with rosy cheeks and a soft smile. She was in a red gown. "I bought you one of those dolls. You know, the ones that we were looking at the other day."_

_Hong Kong turned and examined the doll. "Nice, but I don't want it." China looked devastated. "You know how much this cost?" Hong Kong continued to draw. "I didn't ask for you to buy one."_

_Suddenly, there was a wave that passed through the room. China dropped the doll. It shattered on impact. China's eyes narrowed. He looked around in confusion. "What? Huh?" He glared at Hong Kong. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hong Kong covered the paper with his arm. "Nothing." China grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out the chair._

_Hong Kong looked at him in bewilderment. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you." He noticed the broken pieces of the doll around his feet. "Aw, look what you did. And you're the one always complaining about money." China disregarded the mess. "How are you your own person? You're a part of me!"_

_Hong Kong sighed exasperatedly. "I became a British colony in 1898. Then, he returned me to you as a younger brother. I wish you'd stop forgetting that." China pointed at him. "I will not allow you to leave me once more. Get back inside this instant." He was pointing at his crotch, which made it very wrong._

_Hong Kong looked at him in disgust. "Ew. No. And it doesn't work that way." China grabbed him by the hair and proceeded to press Hon Kong's nose in between his legs. "Get back in there!" Hong Kong resisted. "No way! I told you! It doesn't work that way! Even if I was your child, you're a man. You don't have a womb." China didn't waver. "Get in there! Why are you so stubborn?" Hong Kong pulled away. _

"_May I ask you the same? This is against your religion. And I hope karma comes back and smacks you right in the back of your head." With that, he ran out the door._

Hong Kong sighed. "I had barely escaped with my life. And whatever dignity I had before that was destroyed by-What do you Westerners call it? 'Brown nosing'? Anyway, it wasn't a nice experience."

He looked around. "By the looks of it, he wasn't the only one affected." Sealand couldn't help but agree. One thing that he couldn't get through his head was why they were the only ones not acting weird. Or were they and they just didn't know. No…well he wasn't sure because he had never met Hong Kong before until now, and he would doubt if he would notice anything wrong.

He looked at his new friend. He seemed way calmer than the rest. If this is his alter ego, how did he really act? And would he really noticed the others acting weird? Sealand was sure that no one would appreciate having their face in someone's crotch. Maybe France. But France was dead according to Britain.

A gun was pointed to his head. "Hey, squirt. Why don't you give me that cool sailor outfit you're wearing?" Sealand looked at him, shocked. "B-But these are my clothes!" Canada nodded. "Exactly. Now hand them over. It's okay. Here's a little something to cover yourself with."

He held up a Canadian red mounted police uniform. It was way too big for Sealand. It was man sized. _You've got to be kidding me. _He couldn't wear that.

Canada's smile widened at his expression. "Come on. Be loyal to one of the world's scariest superpowers." Scary? Since when is Canada scary? What's next? Is Mexico wearing suits and has a Wall Street? Is Austria wearing sweatpants? Is Prussia being polite to people and staying dry from beer?

Sealand started to cry. This sucks. Why was everyone going crazy? This was driving him nuts.

**Hey guys. I had to change the rating on the story because of this chapter. I did some research on Hong Kong and Buddhism. It's actually very interesting. Sorry for these gaps. I just got done with celebrating my birthday. It's no big deal. If I were to be honest with myself, I have no idea where I'm heading with this story. I'm just having fun making everyone act weird. Here are some links if you want to read more into this stuff. I know you're not. But…**

wiki/Transfer_of_sovereignty_over_Hong_Kong

wiki/Buddhism#Buddhist_concepts


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

America was standing on the table now. "I'm the boss, so everyone will listen to me!" Canada glared up at him. "Get down…or do you want another beat down?" America paused and looked at him. He smirked. "That was just luck, but I'll beat you this time!"

Canada launched himself at the American. America yelped as he was thrown off the table. The two wrestled on the floor until Canada was dragging him by his Nantucket hair around conference room. He threw America against the wall, and before the country could even recover, Canada smacked his booted foot into his face.

The American slumped over. Blood was gushing from his nose. Canada nudged the country. "You say that every time. And you always end up like this. Pathetic. I still don't know why I haven't taken over you yet. You make such a great punching bag, though." He turned away, smiling.

Sealand, now in a too big Canadian uniform, gaped in awe. Canada kicked America's butt? The peaceful, moose loving pacifist picked a fight with the United States of America and won? What was the world coming to?

"Hey there, little guy. You a part of Canada?" Spain towered over him. He had that good-natured smile that he always had. That didn't fool Sealand. "Please don't hurt me! I'll give all the money I've got!"

Spain looked confused. "No, man. I don't your money. But that Canadian uniform looks a little big for you. But who can argue with Canada?" He spotted the slumped figure of America. "Maybe him. He's always getting pummeled like that. It's not his fault, though. American pride. That reminds me." He turned and called to the door. "Romano! I found you another _paciente_!"

Suddenly, Romano busted into the room in a female nurse's uniform. "Yes, Boss! I'm a coming!" He had a small first aid kit in his hand. He skipped happily over to America and started working on him. He had a huge smile on his face. Hong Kong stared in horror. "Why's he acting like Poland all of a sudden?"

Romano started by dabbing the country's nose. "You always getting hurt, Mr. America. It worries me. You should be more like my good friend, Germany." He waved to the bigger country. "Hi, Mr. Germany!" Germany waved back awkwardly. "Hey there, Romano." Romano giggled goofily and blushed. "He's so muscular and handsome."

Spain watched proudly with his arms crossed across his chest. "I love Romano. I'm so proud of him." He shook his head. Sealand watched him. Spain didn't seem that different. He expressed this to Hong Kong. The Asian nodded. "Yes, but look!" He pointed to the Northern part of Italy. He looked pissed.

He noticed them staring and gave them the finger. "What the hell are you looking at!? If got something to say, then say it!" Sealand shyly waved in greeting. "Hi, Mr. Italy." The Italian looked surprised then offended. "You trying to mock me or something?" He approached them threateningly. "You want me get my cousins up in Brooklyn, so they can knock a something upside your head? I'm a freaking Italy and I a deserve a some respect, you hear? I have a gun, ya know! Don't make a me pull it out!" Then, he started rambling off in Italian, and Sealand lost interest.

He started putting some pieces together.

He and Hong Kong were the only ones not affected

Everyone was acting almost opposite of themselves

Well, everyone except Spain.

This all happened after the bomb-

That's it! His bomb must've had something to do with this craziness. He pulled at Hong Kong's sleeve. The older man pulled away. "Don't do that, this is some very expensive silk. Whatever, what is on your mind?" Sealand explained his bomb and how it timed perfectly with the weird behaviors.

Hong Kong wiggled his finger front of Sealand's face scolding. "You shouldn't make weapons of mass destruction without the supervision of a responsible adult." He shook his head. "Doesn't matter now. We need to fix this before something bad happens." Sealand agreed.

They were on to something. These alter egos were scaring him. He just couldn't wait 'til it was over.

**I'm trying lengthen my chapters. It's kind of hard. I need ideas, though. I can't find reason why those two are unaffected by the bomb. Anyway, for you America lovers, don't worry, he gets his revenge. If you want to suggest themes for my next stories, then go ahead and suggest. Don't be strangers.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Upon request, Russia and the Baltic States are in this chapter. Now I have to figure out what to do after this chapter. I finally have the seasons one and two boxset. So, that's exciting. If you guys want to make cepelinai (**_national Lithuanian dish; also eaten in Poland, but who cares_**) yourself here's a link.**

Sealand searched through the books in the library across from the conference room. He had no idea what he was looking for. He didn't even like reading. He was about to pick up a book when Hong Kong busted into the room and slammed the door behind him. "He's here!" Sealand was confused and scared. "Who?"

Hong Kong had a crazed look in his eyes. "China!" He swallowed as the door handle started to wiggle. "Don't let him find me!" Hong Kong slid between two bookshelves. The door was kicked open. "Where are you, you runaway?" China stomped around in front of Sealand's pile of books. "Why don't you want to become one with me? We can be together again!" _Why is sounding like Russia? _Sealand was too frightened to move. The old country looked like rabid dog.

"Where are you, my chicken dumpling in soy sauce?" He glanced dangerously at Hong Kong's hiding place. Sealand panicked. "Um, China, you know…there's a buffet downstairs. It has lots of food like cake and pot stickers and rice. Lots of rice."

China lit up to the lie. He scanned the room. "You hear that, Hong Kong? I shall eat to restore my strength. But when I come back, I will find you, okay?" With that unsettling thought, he left the room. On the way out, he bumped into Japan. Japan was wearing a t-shirt and jeans?

"Watch where you going, dip wad!" Sealand gasped. Japan was usually polite. He ran up to the black haired country. "Hey, Japan. Having a bad day?" Japan rasp berried the boy. "Just trying to be country without you Westerners always trying to invade me. Do you know how many asses I kicked today? 51 and the Polish army. Like come on! Then, you come along with your 'Hey Japan. Having a bad day?' crap. You're so fake! You hear that? You're a fake!"

All Sealand could think at that moment was: _My voice isn't that high, is it? _The two stared each other down for a second. Then, Japan stormed away, cursing. Well, that hurt. Hong Kong pulled him back into the library. "This isn't good. Japan has never snapped on someone before today. By the way, thanks for backing me up there. I wish I wasn't so reliant on people. I would like to become my own sovereign nation one day." Sealand nodded eagerly. "Me too! But look at the bright side! If we fix this, the countries will have no choice but accept us as our own independent nations! Oh yeah! No we really have to fix this!" Sealand started scanning through his books again. Hong Kong watched him. "So that's where you priorities lay." He shook his head and sighed. "Kids."

He was about to go over and help when there was a commotion outside. _Not again. _He hurried to see what was going on. Russia was there. And the Baltic States were standing over him. "You're so weak! I can't stand to even look at your face!" Lithuania looked at Latvia, who was tall! "Won't you do the pleasure?" Latvia nodded and grinned. He took his boot and smashed it down on top of the Russian's head. "And you lack the proper intellect of a normal person. I've seen Polish people past your abilities." Russia wailed in pain. Tears streamed down his face. Estonia bent down and smacked him. "What the hell are you crying for? I haven't seen you this distressed since the Cold War." Latvia's boot continued to press down on Russia's skull who had quieted to a faint whimper.

Hong Kong watched in horror. This was not right. He didn't care what old Russia was. New Russia was a nervous wreck. No one should have the privilege to beat down on him so cruelly. He was about to say something when Belarus came rushing down the hall. "Big brother! Oh no! Are they beating down on you again? I would like to help, but I have to keep my distance. I have to give you space because I'm not a robot. And I know how you feel about your personal space because have regard for other people and their emotions. Robots don't do that. I show compassion. So, I can't be a robot, right?"

Russia only wailed under Latvia's boot. Belarus tugged at Lithuania's arm. He was obviously the ring leader. "Please let him go, Sweetheart. Did you see what I did there? I called you a pet name. Robots don't call their lovers pet names." Lithuania rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know you're not a robot. Where'd you get that from anyway? And no. He made my _cepelinai_ with German potatoes instead of Idaho potatoes! That's unforgivable." Belarus tugged even more. "Please. I'm sure he didn't mean to."

Lithuania pushed her away. "You're always getting in the way. Why don't you go see what you sister is up to?" Belarus cringed at the mention of the Ukraine. Her eyes started to well up in tears. She was crying? "No! You know how mean she is to me. I made her some bread the other day, and she impaled my basket with her pitch fork and threw it on the ground. Then, she called herself the 'bread winner' of the family. But we all know that's not true! She still owes Russia billions of dollars for all the oil she borrowed. And Russia's too afraid to ask her about it! Come on!"

Lithuania sighed. "Too bad. That's your problem." Belarus gaped in dismay. "How can you be so cruel?" She ran off down the hall. Hong Kong blinked. That was like a soap opera. _When I become a country, will I lose my sanity as well?_

Wait. That's it. That's why he and Sealand weren't affected by the bomb. They weren't countries! He was about to run and tell his friend that when he saw Poland peeking into the library. _Oh no. He's not thinking about spray painting the room pink again, is he? _Poland nodded to a man next to him. "Yeah. I totally want this room as my new lounge. We can even use the books for fire wood." Hong Kong ran up to him. "Wait! What do you think you're doing?" Poland shielded the man. "Careful. A foreigner." He addressed Hong Kong. "Hey there, guy. You came here just in time to witness my takeover. It's what I do best, you know. This room is now mine."

That was the most absurd thing Hong Kong had ever heard. He shook his head. "No way. You can't do that." Poland grinned. His emerald eyes sparkled with laughter. "Who's saying?" Hong Kong pointed to himself. "I am. Besides, since when do you have an army that isn't infested with ponies?" Poland began to file his nails. "Well, the ponies…I had them genetically engineered, so they're super smart. It was expensive, but who says money can't buy you happiness?"

"99% of the world," Hong Kong replied, irritated. Poland could not have this room. And he certainly could not burn the books!

_Yummy_: od/lithuaniannoodles/ig/Lithuanian-Cepelinai/


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Wait! What are about to do?" Hong Kong demanded. Poland smiled at him, flirtingly. "Me? Well, I'm planning on doing a lot of things. For starters, I'm going to take this library. Maybe paint my nails. Then, I'm going to call Lithuania and tell him that Mark and Allison are not going out, like for realsies. I mean, those two aren't even compatible. Then-" Hong Kong waved his hand to cut him off. "Yeah, yeah. You can't take this library." Poland looked at him dumbly. "Why? I take everything else." Hong Kong explained. "You can't take this room because…it doesn't belong to anyone. Yeah! It doesn't belong to anyone, so you can't take it." He ended with a quick nod. Poland gaped in disappointment. "What? It doesn't?" He put his hand on his hip in a feminine way. "Well, that wouldn't be very sporty of me if I just claimed things that belonged to no one. That would take the fun out of everything. All right." He signaled the man to follow him and walked away. Hong Kong sighed in relief. Now _that _was a close one.

Hong Kong walked into the conference room. America was wide awake and was fighting with Germany again. The rest were gathered around Canada as he lectured them about moose. America got distracted by that and paused in the middle of the argument of whose country had bigger tanks. America leapt at the Canadian. "Canada!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs. Canada turned, irritated. "America," He began dangerously. "How many times do I have to say it; this is Canadian Circle Time." America landed inches from the delinquent. "You can have your Circle Time later, let's go!" Canada narrowed his eyes. "You really want to test me, brat?" America smiled. "You're the brat since I'm older. And please. I _let _you have that one. Now, come on!" Canada pulled out a whip and swung it. In a flash of a second, America was on the floor again. This time, he had a long scar on his hand. He examined it in astonishment. Suddenly angry, he rushed toward Canada with readied fist. Before his hand reached the Canadian's face, Canada sucker punched him in the gut. America instantly lost all him momentum. He stiffened and dropped to the ground. He laid at the younger man's feet, twitching and _ahh_ing softly. Canada surveyed the room. "Anyone else?" He challenged. Everyone else in the room looked away and went about their business.

_He knocked him out that easily? _Hong Kong blinked in horror. Romano skipped past him and over to America. "Mr. America, you're so reckless. You're messing up that cute face of yours." Hong Kong shook his head. This was madness. Then, he heard a crash across the hall. _What now? _He rushed into the hallway. Britain was holding Sealand upside down by his ankles and proceeded to shake him. "Not a single dime?" The Brit observed. Hong Kong ran to the rescue. He was stopped by a hand catching his collar. "Don't," A voice breathed.

Hong Kong cautiously turned his head. He squeaked. It was Sweden! He broke into a cold sweat. "Mr. Sweden. H-how can I h-help you?" Sweden stared at him with intense violet eyes. "Don't," He repeated. Hong Kong nodded. "Okay!" Sweden kept staring at him. "You're not going to ask me way?" Hong Kong shook his head. "I-I'm sure you have your reasons!" Sweden grunted and turned his gaze toward Britain. "I'll tell you anyway." _My goodness he's scary! _"When Britain is looting, he loots. Get in his way, you get in death's way. In other words, you interrupt him, he'll kill you." Hong Kong relaxed a little. "I just can't let him bully my friend-" Sweden tightened his grip. Hong Kong got the message. He had to wait it out. He watched in silent agony as the pirate wrung the boy like a rag. He swung him a few time and then finally dropped him. "Useless vermin." With that, he moved on to his next victim: Russia.

Sweden released Hong Kong and hurried toward the dazed Sealand. He looked down. "Are you all right? Do you need anything?" Sealand nodded weakly. "I need…I need…" Hong Kong looked at him, eyes tearing up. "What do you need? Anything." Sealand could barely keep his eyes open. "I don't know how much I have left." Hong Kong took his hand. "Don't say that!" He pleaded helplessly. "I need…I need…" His eyes closed. Hong Kong looked at him. "Sealand?" The boy didn't respond. "NOOOO!" Hong Kong wailed.

"A milkshake." Hong Kong paused in mid-cry. He looked down at the little boy who was smiling mischievously. Hong Kong was confused. "It was a joke?" That made him annoyed. "You're an ass. You know that, don't you?" Sweden appeared with a milkshake in his hand. "Here." Hong Kong looked at him, surprised. "Where did you get that?"

"The buffet downstairs," The Nordic replied. It was Sealand's turn to be surprised. "Wait! There really was one?" Hong Kong handed him the milkshake. Sealand brightened up. "Strawberry! Yummy!" While he slurped childishly on his shake, Hong Kong nodded to Sweden. "Thank you, Sweden. We appreciate your help. Is there anything I can do in return?"

Sweden looked at him. Why was he so scary? "Kiss me." Hong Kong stepped back in bewilderment. "What?" Sweden had a straight face. "You ask me what you can do, right? Kiss me." This was awkward. Hong Kong didn't really have a choice. This was so weird. Why a kiss? Why not money or something? Of all things a kiss. He sighed. He leaned in hesitantly. Sweden waited, as still as a statue. Hong Kong gave Sweden a quick peck on the lips and moved away. Sweden looked at him. _Am I done? _Sweden walked away. "Thanks." _Wait. That was it? _That was he wanted? Hong Kong shook his head in amazement. Westerners.


End file.
